tap on my window, knock on my door, I want to make you feel beautiful.

The new "update journal" thing: sweet. However, I can post in MY journal fine but it says I can't post in communities because everything's backdated. Harrrrmph. Hate that.

I went to the library a few days ago to pick up some books for my history project, and I ended up picking up two unrelated ones: Gathering Blue, which is a sequel of sorts to The Giver, and a nonfiction book called Survival of the Prettiest. I'm currently reading the latter, and it's interesting and depressing all at the same time. Chalk it up to low self-esteem. I don't think I'm beautiful. Family members and family friends can tell me that, but I don't think so. At my best, I'm cute. Back in seventh grade, my friends and I devised a scale of attractiveness, 0 being butt-ugly, 10 being gorgeous. I'd rank myself about, oh, 5. 5 is cute. I'm cute at my best. But cute isn't good enough in some cases.

Before this becomes an interesting rant about people's preoccupations with looks and so on, there's this one quote from the book that made me think: Envy is hostility toward the very thing one desires. And that's about it when it comes to that.

I can get ready to leave for anywhere in under ten minutes. I figured that out today. I got dressed, brushed my teeth, made my hair look manageable, and washed my face all in about seven or eight minutes. This could be mostly due to the fact that I don't wear makeup, therefore eliminating time-consuming minutes. That could tie into the whole beauty thing or whatever, but forget that.

(no subject)

Well, I just LOST THE CHANCE AT A COOL JOB THAT I COULD'VE TOTALLY DONE WELL AT. I hate being too busy to even APPLY FOR A JOB. And now that I am unbusy for the FIRST TIME IN A WEEK I can't do anything about it. I don't want a job after the first of the year. I need one NOW. Okay, so maybe the secretarial thing couldn't have worked as I would only be availble during the weekends, but still. Waaaaaaaaaah.

I finished my small report for history; it's about fashion in the US during the '40s. I think it's workable. I'm not even a fashionista; I just have this extreme liking for clothes. If I had more money, I think I'd be one of those annoying girls at the mall every weekend, salivating over a pair of sneakers (because I'm a sneaker girl) or buying another designer bag. Speaking of designer bags: I LIKE my LV backpack, but EVERYONE IN THE AREA has the same print (the brown and tan) that I do. I now feel like a complete trendoid. I want to get my blue inital bag cleaned more than ever now (it has a Coke stain on its light-blue fabric that I can't identify) because it's different, even if initials are "out" now. I love that bag, but I don't know if I can get it dry-cleaned.

My TV "to-watch" schedule (because, as I said, I'm a slight trendoid!):

Sunday: Jack and Bobby (I will start watching this, I promise)
Monday: Girlfriends
Tuesday: I don't really watch anything on Tuesdays. Unless that's when they're going to show Veronica Mars then, which was really good the other night.
Wednesday: Lost (SO GOOD!)
Thursday: CSI (new season new season!), The O.C. (when it comes back), Life As We Know It (when it starts)
Friday: Reba, Best Week Ever, Degrassi
Saturday: Saturday Night Live, She Spies

I'm still a little upset about the job thing. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. I'm still a mite disappointed, though.