i tried to be like grace kelly

This is more or less a series of stories about things I've bought in the past week.

One: Last week I decided that I needed to finally buy a new sports bra. Except it's kind of hard to find a sports bra for me, as I'm just out of the range for the bigger sizes for a lot of brands, and those standard issue S/M/L/XL bras have no support and are a nightmare to put on. I decided to stop by Kohl's to see if they had anything, and sure enough, they did.

But when I got into the dressing room to try on the bras I'd picked, the left strap for the bra I was wearing snapped.

Just completely broke, everything. After I tried on everything, I had to somehow figure out how to keep the old bra together 'til I paid for the new one. I ended up tying it to the right strap, kind of looping it around the back of my neck halter style, which hurt like crazy because it was digging RIGHT into the base of my neck.

I paid for the bra, and then went to the dressing room in the junior's department to change into it because I thought that I was going to choke if the strap dug into my neck any more. Then, just as I stepped out the door, I realized that I didn't have my keys and had lost them somewhere in between the lingerie department and the dressing room where I changed. Twenty minutes later, the super-helpful staff people found my keys someplace, and I got to leave.

Two: Last Wednesday, the presale for tickets for the Backstreet Boys' tour started. I've never done a presale before, so I was kind of excited and nervous, until I saw that people were complaining about having problems not getting good seats. I figured I'd wait 'til Thursday, and maybe by then some of the madness would have calmed down.

So Thursday afternoon, I went on Ticketmaster and tried the presale code again. Nothing good came up, until I noticed this one ticket deal. Guaranteed seats in the first fifteen rows, early entry to the venue, some sort of food and drink deal, and a t-shirt, among other things. It was slightly more than the priciest ticket, and almost as good of a deal as the fan club stuff, only much less expensive and minus the meet and greet (and joining the fan club). I just went "what the hell!" and ended up paying for it, because I couldn't bring myself to settle for a lesser ticket, and I didn't want to wait for the public sale to open.

So I'm going to see them for the fifth time in August! Except I can't pick up my ticket and other stuff until the day of the show. Boo.

Three: I found out last week that there's a sequel to A Certain Slant of Light. I read the preview on my Kindle, and today I decided that I needed to get it. I ended up in Cedar Hill this afternoon, so I stopped by the Barnes and Noble there to see if they had it, and they did not. Later, I called the B&N closest to me, and they didn't have it, but they are going to transfer it in for me later this week. So, a not-quite purchase, but still.

Four: While looking around at Target this afternoon, I saw Hello Kitty soap. It was on clearance for $2.08, and I thought, Why the hell not?

And that--save for working, writing, and other things--is what I've been up to lately, more or less.

Things that I am thankful for:

1. My job opens at Normal Time (well, normal Black Friday hours, at 5 AM), and none of us has to be there in an hour or so to reopen
2. The food was so good
3. My schedule for art classes next semester includes Cinematography, Intermediate Film, and Sculpture. I am so so psyched for the first two classes
4. I started watching Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid on Netflix earlier--it's one of those classic movies that I've heard about my whole life but never really seen before. I didn't get to finish it--I got distracted--but so far, I like it
5. I got rained on when I was trying to walk Pepper. We were turning the corner, getting ready to head to the park when I felt it sprinkling. By the time I circled back to our street, it had started to pick up. I didn't get drenched, but it was kind of fun.
6. The National Dog Show, which has become one of my favorite things about Thanksgiving in the past few years. DOGS. ALL THE DOGS.

On the other hand, I am still behind in NaNo, but I WILL AT LEAST MAKE 50K, SO HELP ME GOD. This novel's turning out more dense than I thought it'd be. Having fun with it, though.

Let's do this in list formation.

1. A diversion that I found last night: PENGUINS!

They are so distracting and so very cute!

2. ( That shoulder to waist ratio! )

3. The return of Puppy Cam! The new litter's been broadcast for a few weeks now, but now the puppies are in the stage where they're starting to stay awake more. Puppyblogging is posting some adorable stills of the pups, though.

(Also, what the hell, why are people calling the puppies by Glee character names? Stop that!)

4. A few weeks ago, I bought a Smash Book at Target. I first heard about them a year ago, give or take, and I thought it looked cool. And since it was on sale, I got this one.

And over the following days, I ended up buying damn near every little add-on accessory that Target had to go with them, because everything was on sale.

I went through a brief scrapbooking phase in high school. Not to the extent of, say, those women who spend thousands upon thousands of dollars on paper and notions and have rooms dedicated to it, or to the extent of that one award winning chick who made fandom_wank when it was discovered she was a scrapbooking plagiarist, but I definitely had a moment. Mostly, I would buy the paper and stickers and intend to make layouts and stuff and never get around to doing it, because it was too labor intensive for me and I didn't feel creative enough. What I like about the Smash books is that they have neat pages inside and you don't feel the absolute need to create something from scratch if you don't want to. All you do is take whatever you have and glue it in, and boom! You've done something.

And did I mention that it has cool pages?

Anyway. ( I took some pictures of what I have in mine so far. )

I have to say, looking at other people's books--and other people's scrapbooks and notebooks--makes me hate my handwriting a little. People compliment me on it all the time, but I feel like mine is nowhere as nice as others. Like this person's or this.

5. The Shawshank Redemption was on when I got home, and yes, it is still one of the best movies ever.

A whole lot has happened in the week and a half since I last posted, and I will surely get to telling you all about that when I have a breather moment, which is simply just not tonight at all. Instead, here's a rough outline of what I have:

• helping a former classmate with a movie two weeks ago, and my van overheating after I left the first day,
• winning shoes from the Adidas rep at a department meeting,
• "Five New Shows You Should Watch", the story I did for the newscast last week,
• being interviewed for a classmate's documentary about feminism, in which I managed to mention the ERA, the lack of a Wonder Woman movie, and boy bands all in the same half hour,
• seeing Immortals and Breaking Dawn,
• working on fan videos while waiting for people to come in and ask me questions about their stories, since I am producing the newscast tomorrow (OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD),
• being woefully behind in NaNo and having to do almost 2500 words a day if I want to win now (OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD)

Finer points for some of those? Coming tomorrow.

- I am worn the hell out and got some less-than great news from the art department--according to them my art GPA is fluctuating and if I don't get it back up to the required 3.0, I'm out of the art department and out of the film program, and I am just like, I've had a steady 3.25 all this time, how in the world has it gone down? I've got B's in my design class right now, what do I have to do to bring it back up? This can't happen to me now.

Everyone I've talked to said that it's okay, that my grade should be enough to keep me on track but I'm really worried and hating everything right now that is related to school. Even reporting is driving me nuts because every Monday I usually have to tweak one last thing on my story of the week (and I have had a story every week since... mid-February) and that means being at school from about 7:30 to 5 on Mondays and even though I usually feel good about everything I've done 90% of the time I leave the studio exhausted and dreading the coming week because the cycle just begins again. I hate the actual reporting part, to be honest. If I go into news I want to work more on the production side, but everyone's given a task weekly and the reporting II students get to do more production and reporting I does more... reporting. And the more anxious I feel at getting a story and editing the story the more I wish I could just finish this degree and do my film stuff, or just graduate already and start doing the production work.

- This past week I've had a major sore nose issue. I have a scab on my right side. I don't even know how I scratched my nose. It hurts and itches like crazy.

- In less school angst/general body confusion: I finished the first season of White Collar. Repeat: WHY WAS I NOT WATCHING THIS SHOW BEFORE?! I love the dynamic that Neal has with Peter and Elizabeth, and just so much about it. [flails]

- Random thought: I totally judge overly simplistic Tumblr layouts, especially ones that have white backgrounds with light gray text. I don't know if that's just because I dislike the look on a purely aesthetic level or if it's because I have a hard time reading it... I just don't like it at all. But then again, I also have a hard time reading white/gray text on black backgrounds. That really makes my eyes hurt for some reason.

- Here, have two cute/funny dog videos. The first is of a Corgi puppy snoring and the second is of Honey praying for more food for those other dogs that don’t get a lot of food.

I am feeling irritated over a bunch of stupid little things right now. Let's list them!

- The change in my coat pocket has somehow fallen into the lining and I DO NOT KNOW HOW OR HOW TO GET IT OUT.
- I can't find my Zune charger so I am having to charge it at my laptop.
- I don't have enough money to buy everyone's Christmas presents right now and I won't have enough to do that until Friday.
- I want to work on the Boarding School Epic of Doom but I have this major case of writer's block for it, even though I know exactly where I want to go with it.
- I don't have time to go stop by the comic store and see if the cute cashier is working.
- My dad's gone out of town to see my granddad and he's not going to be back until Christmas.
- Pepper will not stop eating the trash in the bathroom.
- I am waitlisted for a class I really need to take and if I get into the 6 to 8:50 section it will screw up my work schedule SO MUCH and I REALLY NEED TO TAKE IT EARLIER.
- I can't get storylines I want because I swear sometimes I feel like I'm one of the five people on IJ who doesn't mind writing women and men.

But on the good:
- I have three episodes of Misfits to watch whenever I get some time. I am officially hooked on it, omg.
- I'm doing that "50 Most Attractive" meme that was going around on Tumblr a few months ago and I'm posting it here.
- I finally downloaded LJ Juggler, which is like LJLogin for Chrome and I may finally have to make the switch over to Chrome officially.
- I saw Megamind, Black Swan, and Tron Legacy over the course of two days, which was interesting. Megamind totally surpassed my expectations, Black Swan was amazing and left me feeling ridiculously paranoid, and Tron was a nice way to chill after the intensity of Black Swan--plus, it had Garrett and Olivia (unf).
- I get to do all the Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve which is going to be fun. I am seriously one of those people who loves shopping on Christmas Eve because after years of going with my mom, I know how to navigate.
- Fingers crossed, come the 26th and I will finally have a friggin' Nintendo Wii. I hope that GameStop still has the red one for $199 then.
- DELICIOUS MAY NOT BE GOING AWAY. THANK THE LORD. I have way too many links to random blogs/Photoshop things linked there. I suppose I could use Instapaper but I can't TAG there.
- Easy A is out on DVD tomorrow, hurray!

- To start: TUMBLR IS BACK, THANK GOODNESS. In screenwriting today me and this other guy were attempting to explain Tumblr to another guy, and I mentioned my problem with wanting to reblog like, every picture of a cute puppy that I see.

- I am hopelessly behind and have only recently started listening to Bruno Mars. "Grenade" has what I'm convinced is one of the best lyrical burns ever in it: tell the devil I said "hey" when you get back to where you're from. OUCH.

- Somewhat related to that: trying to come up with a list of "best/favorite songs from 2010" has made me realize that I am growing increasingly out of touch with the hot new jams right now. This time ten years ago I could ramble off a list of what was not only popular with pop music, but rap/hip-hop, R&B, maybe some alternative. Now I can tell you all the country songs that are popular (no thanks to the country playlist at my job) and I know who's been pretty huge on the charts but I'm not like, a huge fan of them all. My top three new albums this year are Sara Bareilles' Kaleidoscope Heart, Cee-Lo's The Ladykiller, and OK Go's Of the Blue Colour of the Sky. Everything else musically I've loved this year has been limited to a handful of songs and lots of stuff that came out last year or in years prior. I am getting old.

- I have rewrites on my script due Wednesday at 9 AM. My professor said I should look into possibly taking a Maymester class that might be on for this spring wherein we'd make shorts every day. I'm definitely intrigued.

- Also, I have to shoot a package for enews tomorrow. If I cannot have the camera for the whole time I need it I will strangle someone.

- I just want it to be Thursday already, so I'll have the package done, a polish to do on the script, and enews will be OVER. After that I'll just have the last two days in intro screenwriting and a test in painting and I'm out.

- I am so going to crash in a few minutes. I need to have energy to get me through tomorrow. It would suck to burn out and then wake up on Friday and want to do nothing more on my twenty-fifth birthday than sleep.

Have you ever been doing something and thought to yourself, "You know what, I really need to download this song/album" and you go on a rampant search for it and you just can't seem to find it? And then when you finally have the means to get it, you can't remember what exactly you wanted? That has happened to me. I got an Amazon gift card so I could buy MP3s and there were a few that I really remembered wanting (and I got them), but there was something I remember really wanting to order/find a few days ago that has managed to totally slip my mind somehow. Grr, arr.

My friendly mall movie theater has the earliest showing of Iron Man 2 at 9 PM next Thursday. Guess who's off next Thursday? I'm sorry, Supernatural, but I'm gonna have to miss you.

List of things to do:

1. Download various class reviews from WebCT, for exam week is coming soon.
2. Work on script for Big Epic Project
3. Clean room
4. Reschedule advising appointments
5. Study study study
6. Put aside $100 for Zune purchase. Seriously, SERIOUSLY, next pay day I am going to freaking finally get it.

1. Lost = DLKJSGJOEJDLJKGSLGLSLJGLJSGLGJSL!!!!!!!

2. Glee = still need to see. I was howling at the segments that I did see, though.

3. So, there is this guy at work who is vaguely close in age to me and very nice and nice to look at, and after I mentioned to someone in my department that I thought he was kind of cute, she asked him if he had a girlfriend and we found out that no, he doesn't. I'd like to say something but on one hand he could want to hang out and stuff but on the other hand he could just be the kind of person who happens to be attractive and is nice to everyone, you know? CURSE MY ANXIETY.

4. I am angsting over Work Guy a touch because I'm at this point wherein I just really, really want to get certain things over with but I also want the ~feelings~ that come with them because I am not the type to divorce action from feelings--if that makes sense. I want to do important things and have them be meaningful. I'm just tired of not feeling anything, you know? I want to. And I want to experience things as well.

5. Today was a good day, otherwise. I still don't feel bad from the eggs. Hopefully I won't feel terrible tomorrow either. Gah, I just miss having eggs sometimes. The smell of them cooking, though, always makes me fel nauseous. I don't even know why.

6. THREE WEEKS 'TIL THE END OF THE SEMESTER WTF?!?!

7. NO NEW JAMES BOND NEXT YEAR. [cries] [sobs] [rends garments]

8. Meet David Karp, the dude behind Tumblr. Look, I am not a big fan of the whole sideswept bangs thing that has become popular for certain guys in the past few years, but some can pull it off. This guy? Can pull it off. (Swoon.)

I don't know why I've been thinking this lately, but I figured that I might as well get it all down.

Things That I Wish I Could Tell Myself at Thirteen

1. Absolutely nothing is going to happen at 12:01 A.M. on January 1, 2000. The world's not going to end, the internet will still be intact, everything will be fine. We will still not have flying cars, but that's okay.

2. Yes, you're moving to Texas. I know it sucks. Even now, I still want to pack up and go home, but the truth of it is that nothing stays the same. Just remember when you leave, it's okay to cry.

3. Don't give away all of your picture books. It's okay to keep some things for sentimental reasons. Which leads me to...

4. Just because you're a certain age, it does not make you a teenager, or an adult. There are some things that you will never be too old for, and they include: cartoons, animated movies, catchy pop songs, Blow Pops, stuffed animals, and secretly wishing to be showered with gifts on your birthday.

5. If you like him, kiss him. Trust me, this will prevent mucho angst down the road.

6. Ask Grandma to tell you about herself. Collect these stories and remember them.

7. Just because your friends get new friends, or their interests change, or they get a boyfriend, don't think that they're abandoning you. People grow, people change. Try to accept that and remember that if they are good friends, they will care about you no matter what.

8. Ask. You might get the answer that you need.

9. Get into drama in high school. Join the yearbook staff as soon as you can. Take the harder classes so that you won't feel bored. Work hard. Even though people at whatever school you'll go to have known each other since they were in kindergarten like you knew everyone from Immaculata from the time you were in kindergarten, it doesn't mean that they'll not want to get to know you. You will meet some fun and amazingly cool people there. Just take that opportunity.

10. You are worth knowing. There's a reason why you had so many friends in seventh grade.

11. Keep writing. Keep writing. And don't stop.

12. Ride your bike more.

13. Try to not be easily swayed by boys who are good-looking and seem as if they are actually invested in what you say. Sometimes these guys will just want to be friends but they have no idea that their words are being interpreted differently by you. Sometimes they just enjoy the attention that you're giving them and will say anything to get you to further feed their egos. These guys often have girlfriends, and inevitably they will remind you of that. These guys? Are not worth it.

14. You never forget the things you loved with a passion. That is why you'll never really be able to not listen to the music you liked at thirteen without smiling, even if you later realize it's a little overwrought or cheesy. It's okay. You're not the only one.

15. You won't become an adult overnight. You won't wake up one day with the innate knowledge of how to apply eyeliner and you won't wear heels every day. You won't wake up one morning with the ability to talk to boys without stumbling over your words or making a fool of yourself. You won't know how to properly express your condolences to someone else, and you won't know how to accept rejection gracefully. You won't have all the answers. You will still feel just like you do right now sometimes: confused, scared, completely alone, misunderstood, and like nothing will ever be okay. Eventually, it will. Things will work out. You won't be a girlie-girl, and you may not ever be a "young lady", but being a "lady" is highly subjective anyway.

16. But try to be more organized, really.

17. It doesn't make you crazy, and it can be dealt with.

18. You're going to be fine.

19. You are going to need to get glasses sooner than you think (and that's not a bad thing either).

What do you wish you could tell yourself at thirteen (or, well, yourself ten years ago)?