enamoured | Entries tagged with writing

Way too freaking long time, way too freaking no post.

I'm working on a piece, trying to get back into the mindset of being a thirteen year old girl, and I'm looking at my own journals from that stage of my life and it's been rough. It's funny--I feel like I can remember being that age well, but having the words before me feels like sensory overload. I found an entry when I talk about a teacher having to take me into the hall because I started crying in class over some drama with either my best friend or this awful boy that I liked. That boy shows up a lot in this one notebook. Like, I wrote a song about him (I wanted to be a pop star at the time, so I wrote lots of lyrics), and one of the lines from it was "your halfway love is cutting my soul like a knife", and what in the world was that about?

Anyway, I just found this one part where I talk about how said boy would pretend to flirt with me and say, "Oh, you like that!" when I would be like, "Ugh, stop." And I wrote:

Oh God, I do like it and I just want to have him wrapped around my finger and just kiss him and mess around in his hair and pull him closer and just have the pleasure of knowing that I want him and need him to possibly go on and have the pure satisfaction of knowing that we’re together.

When I read that, I hear it in my head as a long, kind of breathless gush, and I love that it's written like that. There was something going on in my thirteen year old head that understood the urgency that that sentence had, and knew that I didn't have to put a comma in there even though it's kind of a run-on. I felt that my writing had to be conversational and in that conversational way, splicing the sentence wasn't necessary.

I still like writing dialogue like that. I love heightened emotion and trying to get that frenetic, crazy feeling down in a way that makes sense and can make a reader really get what you’re going for.

But Lord, thirteen year olds are a mess. Bless their crazy little hearts.

Current Mood: thoughtful
Crossposts: http://supersyncspaz7.livejournal.com/812183.html

First: THERE IS TOTALLY GOING TO BE A SEQUEL TO THE INCREDIBLES.

Second: Here's a one minute teaser trailer for the Peanuts movie coming out next year. I've probably mentioned this in the past, but I've loved Peanuts for practically as long as I can remember. One of my most prized possessions is a toy Snoopy that I've had pretty much my whole life. I have multiple copies of the comic page from the last weekend strip of the comics was published. I was so not on board with the idea of a CG-animated movie, but so far, the animation looks really, really nice.

And, okay, I am kind of emotional about the fact that I get to see a Peanuts movie at a theater. Bon Voyage, Charlie Brown came out five years before I was born. When this comes out, it'll be the first feature length movie with those characters in thirty-five years.

Third: I am a finalist for Pitchapalooza!

The Book Doctors had their Fourth Annual NaNoWriMo Pitchapalooza, and I sent in the pitch for my novel from last year, This Mad Season. On Saturday, I found out that my pitch was one of the twenty-five finalists that can now be voted on. The winning pitch "will receive an introduction to an agent or publisher appropriate for his/her manuscript."

If I had a gif of Abed from Community screaming silently, I'd post that here.

If you're so inclined, check my pitch out over here, and vote for it here if you like it! I'd appreciate your support so much. I've been giddy about this since I found out, and would be thrilled if I won.

Current Mood: hopeful
Crossposts: http://supersyncspaz7.livejournal.com/808780.html

One of the things that I promised myself that I'd do this year was to get back on track with my reading. I usually read at least forty books a year, but last year I only read twenty-three. It was a stressful time, and I just couldn't focus enough on anything. I would check out books from the library, finish one or two of them, and not get around to the rest.

But this year, I'm going to get back up to my usual reading schedule. I checked out two books that I'd been dying to read on December 29, and they're overdue, but tomorrow I'm renewing one so that I can finish it. And there are books on my Kindle that I got on sale last year and never got around to finishing, so I've got those, and there are about six hardcovers that I either bought or was given as gifts that I've had for ages, and need to read.

But at the same time, I desperately need to finish writing This Mad Season, which was my NaNo novel from last year (I won again, holla!), so that I can edit it and then send it to CreateSpace for my free bound copy. And I still want to rewrite the one from the year before that, but I need to completely rework some of the earlier parts and do a lot more research before I do.

And that's all I got for right now! How are you?

Current Mood: calm
Crossposts: http://supersyncspaz7.livejournal.com/807307.html

What is up with me:

1. Finished my French homework. Verbs and tenses are ridiculous. I'm just having a hard time with them. I think I'm pretty much going to dedicate at least a half hour a day through next week to reviewing passe compose and everything else so that I don't bomb my test. Also, I missed a few assignments from the last chapter, and I'm hoping that if I pull up my test grades and finish the rest of the homework, I'll do okay for the rest of the semester.

2. OH MY GOD, HOW IS THANKSGIVING NEXT WEEK?!

3. NaNo is coming along slowly! I'm almost 3000 words behind, but I figure I can make it up tomorrow and Thursday. Hopefully I can switch shifts with someone so that I can pop in to the Night of Writing Dangerously for a little bit. That's always fun to go to. Also, I can't wait to incorporate self-written cheesy boy band songs. [dances]

4. I also want to write ALL THE FAN FICTION all of a sudden, too. I still have that Avengers boy band AU that I need to really get into, plus sequels to various things I wrote, plus a continuation of a 5+1 thing I started this summer and got really, really stuck on. I know how I want it to end, but I'm in the noveling phase right now, so it will have to wait 'til I reach 50K.

5. I know exactly what I'm getting my mom for Christmas already. Usually I have the hardest time picking out things for her, but everything's planned out so far. I just need to buy it. I'm going to get her the first season of Dallas (original recipe Dallas) on DVD, and also a piggy bank for a vacation fund with $25 in it.

Everyone else? I have NO IDEA.

6. I'm going to make my Christmas card post tomorrow. Stay tuned.

7. I spent the better part of this morning watching The Lizzie Bennet Diaries on YouTube. I watched the first ten episodes during the summer and lost track, but everyone else has been buzzing about it lately, so I figured I'd catch up. It's fun!

Current Mood: blah
Crossposts: http://supersyncspaz7.livejournal.com/794451.html

HI TO ANY NEW FRIENDS I'VE PICKED UP THANKS TO THE DREAMWIDTH FRIENDING MEME! Welcome to the madness.

Thanks to Daylight Savings Time, I put in another hour's worth of work on my NaNo and managed to get up to 9K last night. And because my French instructor's late with posting our homework (again) and I don't absolutely need to be at school at 8 AM, I'm going to try to get to 11K tonight. Try being the key word. I'm actually really surprised/happy that I've gotten this far. I tried writing this particular novel during Camp NaNo this summer and didn't get very far. I've jumped into the action a bit more and changed the opening some, so I'm getting more and more eager to get to the next stage.

And because the novel deals with '90s related things, I am going down a big fat nostalgia spiral, and it's making me want to go roller skating for some reason. I have so many memories of going skating and going to skate parties for birthdays, and my school renting out the rink for one night during Catholic Schools Week. Good times.

Further motivation to meet word count: I won't let myself watch tonight's Once Upon a Time or last week's Revolution until I get there. So I'm going to try to finish that, and in the meantime I will leave you with the following gif, and I'll suggest that you look up Yackety Sax on YouTube and play it in the background as you watch. It makes it funnier.

Current Mood: silly
Crossposts: http://supersyncspaz7.livejournal.com/793387.html

I both love and hate going to meetings of my library's writing group. I love it because I get lots of helpful tips from other people, and I hate it because sometimes, it makes me want to throw out every single thing I've written. And then I read people's very literary and verbose discussions about what is wrong/right with YA lit, and that's most of what I write, and it makes me very self-conscious and that just further makes me anxious about keeping on.

And then, just when I think I want to rewrite something that I shared with the group earlier tonight, I end up reediting a scene for the fifth time and I think I've finally got it right.

Only now I have to recontexualize the scene. Great. Just great.

Current Mood: blah
Crossposts: http://supersyncspaz7.livejournal.com/790133.html

Oh my GOD, I am sore and roasting to death. I have been helping my mom clean all week, and today I have been forced into cleaning/rearranging my room. I feel like hell. I am going to be sore tomorrow, I just know it.

On the other hand: after YEARS of wondering where the hell my box of diskettes (the diskettes that held all my old stories, fan fic and other) disappeared to, I found it in a box with a bunch of my dad's stuff in the garage! I don't have an external floppy drive so that I can unload all of it, and some of the older stuff was written in Microsoft Works, so I'll have to convert it somehow, but I am SO HAPPY that I found that! Mostly because one of the diskettes had my first ever NaNo novel on it, and I was sad at not having that saved anywhere else.

And then as I started moving crap around in my room, I found an old notebook that was a gift from a friend. The notebook, which was a birthday gift circa 1999, has the Backstreet Boys on the cover, and written inside is the biggest wish-fulfillment self insert fic I have ever written, and that's not counting the beach house story. The very idea of that book even existing makes me cry on the inside.

Once I'm done cleaning, I'm off to Half Price to drop off a box of books. I am too lazy to root through my mountains of magazines to determine which issues of Entertainment Weekly I want to toss or sell.

Current Mood: sore
Crossposts: http://supersyncspaz7.livejournal.com/784479.html

This was a weird, long day. I got called for jury duty, and once I got home after that, I took Pepper for a walk, and on the way home my right hand started swelling. It was kind of awful. All of my fingers were stiff and puffy, and it's only been within the past two hours that I can move them without much pain.

On the Camp NaNo front: I will be 4000 words behind tomorrow, but I wrote a good chunk today in the waiting periods, and I embellished it once I got home. I think this is my favorite part so far:

Once the gravity of what Alton was asking him sank in, all that Will could think to say was, "Are you dying?"

He had been leaning forward in his seat, but at this question Alton quickly sat upright. "What?"

"Do you have cancer? A brain tumor?" Will could feel himself going slightly hysterical. He brought both hands up to his face and rubbed his nose. There was no way that this was happening. "Because there is just no logical, sane reason for you to even think of attempting to try to do that, and the only remotely sane explanation that I can think of is that you're dying and want one last hurrah, and if you are, then—"

"Jesus, Will, I'm not dying."

Current Mood: tired
Crossposts: http://supersyncspaz7.livejournal.com/783081.html

I should rich text this to add bullet points, but I'm too lazy.

1. Is it possible to be happy about something but also kind of pissed off about it? If so, I'm absolutely feeling that right now and it's just weird. Also, the situation at hand is making me a little bit anxious and paranoid that I'm a terrible person and people secretly hate me. I'm acting like a twelve year old over it. God.

2. Anyway. I don't know if it's still a Thing or not, but I still love Texts From Last Night, especially when you get gems like this: "(617):How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?" I REALLY want to know the backstory for this. And while we're talking about "Call Me Maybe", here, have a video of the Harvard baseball team car dancing to it.

3. TOMORROW IS JUNE FIRST, AND I CAN GET TO CAMP NANOING! YUUUSS.

4. Here is a random video of Chris Evans macking on a girl in a parking garage. I don't know if it's the environment or what, but I find this absolutely hilarious. And I know that this profile is old (read: from last summer), but I will never get over it. I mean, this is the opening:

"chris evans pecs. how do they FEEL? like smooth stone from the souvenir shop?"

...is the instant message that pops up on my computer one Monday morning in April. My friend Kyle follows it up with a link to the gossip pages of the New York Daily News: I am being described as the "mystery maiden" Evans introduced to his mother at a premiere party; we held hands, the paper is reporting, "in a flirty manner," and he even placed "one of them on his chest." Oh.

When I started working on this profile, I decided on a "say yes to everything, try to be cool" approach, with the idea that maybe I'd capture something real about the star of Captain America: The First Avenger—or as "real" as could be hoped for/faked in the time we had together. But in the days since my first interview with Chris Evans, I'd drunk myself under the table, snuck out of his house at five thirty in the morning, bummed a ride home off a transsexual, been teased mercilessly in front of his mother, and now—this bit in the paper.

I don't remember touching his chest, which is too bad.

And it gets progressively weirder/funnier as you read on. When I realized that one of the editors from The Hairpin wrote it, it just made it better.

5. I am seriously considering looking in to how much it would cost to hire a maid for the day, because good Lord, my room is a mess and I am not angry enough to clean it. I have to be angry to clean my room. I do not know why.

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: "Call Me Maybe"--Carly Rae Jepsen
Crossposts: http://supersyncspaz7.livejournal.com/782626.html

If you watch enough TV and enjoy it in a non-passive way—in the kind of way that those of us who are in fandom and tend to get very into our shows do—you might have thought up the kind of show that you would one day like to watch, if only you had the connections and money to create this show.

I was thinking about this the other day, and about how high school shows sometimes tend to be about the jocks and cheerleaders and the artsy kids and the loners, and I was thinking about how my high school experience was definitely not like that, and I thought, "If I could, I would make a show about the kids on the yearbook staff secretly running everything."

Because think about it: what's in the yearbook is forever, more or less. The protagonist could be the editor, who wants to make sure that every club, sport, and organization gets equal coverage and wants to make the yearbook experience more interactive, and the antagonist could be the head photographer/photography editor, who has for years been taking bribes from random clubs so that they can get more pages than others and posts the worst pictures of people that they have grudges against.

Basically, it would be like the high school Mafia.

As much as I like this idea, I don't know if it would work because yearbooks aren’t as big of a deal any more.

On the writing front: I've made it a goal to finish the first draft of my Epic Teen Romance by June, but I'm stalled, stuck around chapter four. I really want to use part of it for my creative project in my YA Lit class, but I don't know which part! I'm also having a hard time thinking of which book I want to use for my critical analysis paper, and I have a few ideas of what I'd like to do with that, but I don't know if I could find the scholarly research necessary for it. I'd love to one day write something about book to TV show adaptations and how they add variations to the book world (see: Gossip Girl and how Chuck Bass went from being mostly in the background to being one of the major players on the show).

And instead of writing the novel, I wrote a poem the other day:

the universe says that every young love is bound by the same rules:
when in each other's arms, they believe they are inseparable,
that the grasp of time and space cannot contain them,
that they will beat the odds, break the chains, and obtain a kind of immortality.
they believe that this is completion, this person staring back at them
whispering secrets, sharing stolen moments and clandestine dreams.
of course, they could be wrong—far too often they are.
first love is rarely eternal, never perfect,
but then, is any love ever without flaw?
it could be that this is why we believe in the power of silent moments,
of a glance that sets your soul alight.
that love—this first love—is flawed and flawless,
hopeful and hopeless, the most beautiful contradiction imaginable.

Current Mood: mellow
Current Music: "Somebody to Love"--Queen
Crossposts: http://supersyncspaz7.livejournal.com/774835.html

Something that I posted on Tumblr a few weeks ago:

To thine own self be true.
Remember when there were metric tons of teen magazines that lined magazine racks? I was obsessed with them when I was twelve, thirteen, fourteen. Hell, I had a subscription to CosmoGirl until it went out of business—I'm not exactly proud of this fact, but what are you gonna do, you know?

Anyway. So I used to love those glossies. CG, Seventeen, Elle Girl, and YM. Every year, around fall YM always had a quiz issue, and from sixth grade up I would buy that issue and do every single quiz in it from cover to cover. I would always go pen in hand and circle my answers, tally up my points, and see what the results said.

If I picked all A's, it meant I was THIS kind of person. If my score was between 35 and 42, I should try THAT particular style.

I was so obsessed with personality quizzes that I used to try to write my own. I never did any of the ones that required point systems because my math was always off. I loved those things so much that my first few years online were probably largely spent taking a battery of personality tests on various quiz sites.

In retrospect I think I liked those quizzes so much and took them so seriously because I wanted to see if they would help me make sense of myself. If somehow I would gain insight into who I was and why I did what I did and if it really was okay for me to be who I was. I spent a lot of time in my preteen/teenage years trying to get comfortable with myself, to stop seeing myself as a failure and abnormal and a loser, and while all that happened I hoped that eventually someone would tell me that I was just as cool as I imagined myself to be...

And if that didn't happen, then maybe I would reach self-actualization in the form of "If you picked mostly C's, you are..."

In unrelated news: I think this guy is kind of cute, but on second glance his jawline and smile reminds me so much of John. So distracting. I am in this weird guy-related funk right now, and I hate it.

ON THE OTHER HAND: NaNo is upon us! I have almost 1200 words of The Awesome Adventures of Tomboy and Girlie Girl so far. I'm really starting to look forward to it. If anyone else out there is NaNoing, hook me up with your name on the site and I'll add you to my buddy list. I'm IsLikeaSong, just so you know.

Current Mood: okay
Crossposts: http://supersyncspaz7.livejournal.com/768005.html

October is lurking closer, which means that November is lurking even more close, which means that NaNoWriMo will soon be upon us. As those of you who've been following me for a while know, I'm almost unable to resist the call of NaNo, and in the past I've won in odd-numbered years, so naturally, I am trying it again.

The problem? I have three plot ideas and no idea which one I want to greenlight as my story.

So that is where you all come in. I'll present the plot ideas, and you can pick the one that you think I should go with the most.

PLOT ONE: Kind of like Love Actually in suburban Virginia. At a school, the students who are part of the staff for the yearbook, newspaper, and literary magazine do a Secret Santa exchange. Eight students (four boys, four girls) are involved, and each has their own little story: there's the dreamboat boy who was once a socially awkward geek who still is socially awkward, this cynical newspaper dude who has a thing for the snarly aspiring singer/songwriter, a girl who works at an Aerie/Victoria's Secret type store who has a crush on one of her coworkers, who is the sister of another student, and so on. And, of course, there are romantic entanglements and goofiness and Christmas/holiday-related hijinks.

PLOT TWO: Our main character goes to a school with a strong performing arts department, including offering a class once every two years that focuses on writing a musical. She applies to get into the class, and is rejected. She's upset, and during the summer, when she's volunteering at a theater camp, she gets an idea: she's going to write and direct her own musical during the school year. She ends up getting some of her friends, enemies, and a preacher's kid to help her, and along with the mysterious owner of the camp she volunteered at, goes on her way to write her musical.

PLOT THREE: This is the only idea with a title. Once upon a time there were two little girls who wanted to be superheroes. They created their own secret identities and costumes, and wrote and illustrated their own comic books. The girls grew up, developed non-superhero interests, but still remained friends. Then comes their sophomore year of high school, and suddenly they find that characteristics in the villains from their childhood are showing up in their classmates. And it's up to them to take on their childhood superhero personas to save the day.

So, there you are.

[Poll #1781914]

Current Mood: thoughtful

- Hope that everyone going to see Deathly Hollows, Part 2 has a great time!

- I watched Singin' in the Rain for the first time today. I'm having another one of those "HOW DID I NOT SEE THIS MOVIE UNTIL NOW" moments, because it was delightful!

- ( If you can identify every lyric on these pages, you get an A for the day. )

That's from one of my old journals. I was going through some old pictures that I uploaded and found it, and now I'm doing a different version in my new one.

- I am procrastinating hardcore on my Camp NaNo and every other thing I am trying to write. Um.

Current Mood: peaceful
Current Music: "Take a Bow"--Madonna
Crossposts: http://supersyncspaz7.livejournal.com/759923.html

I signed up for Camp NaNoWriMo, because I need that extra kick to finish Old Fashioned Words, and because I'm crazy.

You know what sucks about titles? When you change the title of one thing to the title of something new because it fits better. Old Fashioned Words was originally the title of my NaNo from last year, now I've retitled that to Be That Brave... which works, and keeps with the using parts of song lyrics for titles theme.

Work story of the day: saw a lady changing her baby on one of the benches in the department. All I could do was walk over to her and whisper, "Ma'am? Next time--I just thought you should know, we do have changing tables in the restrooms." Her: "Oh!" And earlier last week, I suspect that someone else did the same thing, as we found a diaper in one of the trash cans. Ew.

Current Mood: okay
Crossposts: http://supersyncspaz7.livejournal.com/759483.html

Things I'm thinking about right now:

1. I like Dolly Parton's music a lot. She also seems like a really cool lady.

2. The In-N-Out near my job is about... 50% done. When they open, I will probably need a new route to work for a month or so. I just watched that video of the line when they opened the one in Frisco and what in the world.

3. I fell asleep around six-thirty yesterday and then woke up around nine because I could hear fireworks. I thought they weren't having any, as there's a burn ban on. I was wrong.

4. I bought Pepper a toy otter today, mostly to replace the fox I got her at Christmas that she has torn up. She keeps dragging around this stuffingless fox that has its sides all flayed and it has been bothering me for days, so I bought the otter in the hopes that she'll play with that and I can get rid of the fox. Throwing out her toys is like trying to get a toddler to get rid of a bottle or a pacifier.

5. My parents actually had quite a time getting my brother and I to get rid of bottles (him) and pacifiers (me). I ended up with crooked teeth, he didn't. Unfair.

6. I keep writing so much about writing, and actually writing. I need to talk to people, be it IRL and/or through IM and Facebook. People are worrying about me. And I miss the contact, but at the same time I'm all, "I AM BEING PRODUCTIVE FOR ONCE!"

7. That poll from yesterday has left me wanting cookies. Damn.

8. I wish I could go on vacation, namely someplace where the temperature won't be 100 degrees for the next five days. [cries]

Current Mood: okay
Crossposts: http://supersyncspaz7.livejournal.com/758958.html

You know, start off with "AM I" and then have an arrow going down to "ORIGINAL", "THE ONLY ONE", and "SEXUAL", and have those arrows all pointing to "YEAH" and then "EVERYTHING YOU NEED" and have that pointing to "YOU BETTER ROCK YOUR BODY NOW".

...yeah.

I am still a bit concert hungover, and I will have a massive picture post tomorrow. I am warning potential viewers in advance, there will be much gushing. Much.

On the other hand, I have reached almost 17,000 words in my Fluffy Teen Romance. HOLLA!

Current Mood: giddy
Crossposts: http://supersyncspaz7.livejournal.com/757918.html

I wrote and finished a script. A long script. Granted, it is ridiculous and should not see the light of day, but I did and I just need like, another day to process it and return to IMing people at obscene hours of the night.

In the meantime, here's an adapted version of a meme I've seen on Tumblr:

Choose up to four (or less) actors/actresses and ~~put~~ leave their names in ~~my askbox~~ comments. I'll put my music player on shuffle and whatever song pops up, I'll create a graphic and a film synopsis for it.

Current Mood: blank
Crossposts: http://supersyncspaz7.livejournal.com/756922.html

I'm going through my folder of stuff I've written, just surveying it all (and missing the box of diskettes that has been lost for a few years now and contains a lot of my writing from late middle school and early high school that isn't notebook bound), and I came across this snippet of something I was planning on incorporating in the Silly Teen Romance:

For all of their tip-giving and advice offered in Technicolor letters across their glossy covers, teen magazines don't give the proper protocol for how to react when your best friend-slash-guy you had kind of had an ongoing thing for all but dumps you. Maybe it's just because of the very nature of that sort of relationship. You're not official, so there is no need to mourn and cry, and it's not totally unrequited so you need not feel like you have to suffer in some sort of noble silence. And because no one tells you how to feel during a situation like this, your options are severely limited and mostly socially unacceptable, and they include wanting to:

Shove Best Friend-Slash-Guy You Kind of Had an Ongoing Thing For off of a very tall building,

Eviscerate the girl that he has picked over you,

Run to your dorm room, lock the door, scream, and generally attempt to rid your personal space of anything that remotely reminds you of that rat bastard,

Do all of the above in no particular order.

I could not do any of those things, as it would make me look like I was on the brink of a major meltdown.

I've changed the work a lot since I wrote that. The last edit I did on that document was in like, March and since then, I've changed the tense of the story and changed character names and other stuff. Similarly, a few days ago I was reading this Google Docs file I had done about characters in the Boarding School Epic of Doom, and I forgot that I ended up scrapping this one character who was part of this subplot for another one, and there that character was, right in my notes.

In non-writing things: the Dallas Mavericks won the Finals, and that means MORE WORK HOURS THIS WEEK. Well, not in my department; I've been a cashier. I worked 12 to 6 yesterday and I'm going in 1 to 7 tomorrow. I stayed after on Sunday when we reopened to sell the championship shirts, and I had a customer whistle and shriek "GO MAVS!" very loudly in my ear and one who got mad because someone forgot to take down the signs about all Mavs gear being 25% off (that deal had ended Saturday).

I love how I will off-handedly mention weird things on Twitter and then I get followed by people who promote those things. I jokingly said I wanted an electric car a few days ago and I get two new followers who post stuff about electric cars.

Oh, and I finally posted my mix for My Most Excellent Year!

Current Mood: silly
Crossposts: http://supersyncspaz7.livejournal.com/755995.html

Finally got my new pin verification. SOON I SHALL HAVE MORE ICONS ON DREAMWIDTH! (By the way, I have 12 Dreamwidth codes if anyone wants them. Most of my posts lately have been crossposted from there, where my username is ~enamoured.)

I had a movie day today. I went and saw Kung Fu Panda 2 and liked it (so much fun, and damn, the animation in it was gorgeous), and just a minute ago I finished watching Roman Holiday, which was adorable.

I also had a Make Stuff in Photoshop Day--well, it's been like that for the past two days, as I'm trying to get back into posting stuff at my icon community and generally procrastinating on writing, especially when it comes to the script I want to write and the other novel-type thing (the Silly Teen Romance? Let's call it that, even though like, half of what I've written for it isn't particularly silly). I've been reading this and thinking about the feedback I've gotten from my library writing group about the STR, and even though I still want to finish the Boarding School Epic of Doom, I feel the urge to plow through the other project so I can get back to that in earnest.

Anyway.

What is it with celeb nudes getting leaked? Has no one learned anything from the past decade? That said, I ended up getting linked to Blake Lively's and damn.

Current Mood: good
Crossposts: http://supersyncspaz7.livejournal.com/755025.html

The problem with spending an epic amount of your young life documenting said life as it's happening is that for some reason you sometimes get a fierce urge to recount certain moments. I have these random bouts where I go and reread old journals and I come away feeling really odd.

I haven't been writing as much in my journal lately. There are these large gaps in updates, compared to that stretch of time during 2006 and half of 2008 when I wrote every single day, even if it was one sentence. There's even more of a gap than in my journals from before then. I think the most gap-filled ones before the past two were from 1996-97 (my fifth grade year, which was rough) and from 1999-early 2000 (eighth grade, which was also rough). It's not for lack of wanting to write, because for my not-writing on paper I'm doing plenty of fiction for the first time in a while (even if it's mostly in fits and bursts), but the more that I think about it the more that I'm beginning to theorize that it's because I don't feel like there's anything happening to me that's worth chronicling in vivid detail. I mean, yes, there's the newscast and all the stress that it's causing me, and my writing, but I don't want my journals to become a litany of frustrations and beating my head against the metaphorical wall.

Moreover, I'm not interested in anyone, and in a way that's such a driving force in a lot of my journaling. Because I'm a bit emotionally stunted and I'm still a friggin' twelve year old girl on some level. Sometimes I think I just want a crush so I can have that thrill: the elation of seeing them, the speculation and the up, all while completely forgetting the crash that always comes in my case. Like, I want the thrill but I don't want the let down because I feel like it's inevitable. How is it possible for someone to be an optimist and a bit of a romantic while also being a fatalist?

Today I ended up reading one of my journals circa 2007, during the whole Blonde Bond era and not feeling a damn thing. No ache, no angst, no anger, just reading. More than anything, I wished I could get back to that kind of journal writing: that honest, if I cannot get how I feel down at this very moment my head may very well explode writing. I just like the rush and sometimes I feel like capturing my own thoughts helps me when I write fiction. And then sometimes I get weirded out when it does sort of read like fiction, like this one part:

I still can't believe that he's somewhat detailed his entire sexual history to me. He recounted how old he was the first time he got kissed, saw a girl naked, had a girl go down on him, went down on a girl, and had actual intercourse that night I got his phone number. What kind of guy does that?

Current Mood: thoughtful
Crossposts: http://supersyncspaz7.livejournal.com/750954.html

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supersyncspaz7

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Page generated Jan. 3rd, 2026 11:20 am

i tried to be like grace kelly

but all of her looks were too sad.

Entries tagged with writing

The Baby-Sitters Club lied to me: being 13 sucked.

[dr. farnsworth voice] good news, everybody!

(no subject)

Tuesday night, feeling really chatty.

Sunday night, too many tabs open.

a writer's life for me.

Thursday night, sore and tired and maybe going to see Brave at midnight.

(no subject)

it's hard to look right at you, baby.

this is Wednesday night.

random crap before I go back to writing.

I have a case of the Mondays.

you're my lucky star.

(no subject)

it is entirely too hot.

I need to make one of those song flow charts for "Everybody".

(no subject)

I'm special (special), so special (special).

someday he'll come along, the man I love.

it's the bitch of living, living in your head.

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October 2025

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