and most of my memories have escaped me or confused themselves with dreams.

[enamoured]

On Sunday, I went rooting through my closet and found a box full of old papers and magazines. Inside was the first ever issue of J-14, a couple copies of Seventeen from 2002, and a YM quiz magazine from 1997. There were tons of stories I'd started (but never finished), the first attempt I ever made at writing fan fiction [cringe], and then I found something:

One of my report cards from middle school. My first quarter report card from sixth grade.

Hee. It was one of the worst report cards that I'd gotten up 'til that point. I got a bunch of Cs, a few Bs, and three As (all in my elective classes at that time). Mrs. Sam, my homeroom teacher wrote something like Candice is bright... but she doesn't work to her potential, and she doesn't complete her work. (exact quote is totally escaping my memory now.) I got a lot of "needs improvement" marks in conduct. While I totally remember being angry about that report card (until that point I'd never gotten anything lower than a B in English or social studies, and I got a C- in social studies on that one), I don't remember what exactly I was doing to get bad conduct marks. I looked through my journal from the time and I tried to see if I could find anything indicating that I was a less than upstanding citizen at the time. Nothing. I guess I just talked a lot. I probably did, considering that in three of my classes I sat near Kevin and sitting near him basically ensured that you'd be making all kinds of snarky, off-hand comments. But whatever.

God, it's so weird to think that was about eight years ago. It's strange, I can remember these things and I have written proof that it all happened, but somehow, after a point, things start to feel as if they didn't happen to you. I remember so much from then, but sometimes I feel like it didn't happen to me. Mostly it's 'cause I was a lot bolder then. I'd known most of the kids I was in school with at the time since we were in kindergarten, and being my weird self around them didn't matter, 'cause they thought I was a freak anyway, so there was no point in attempting to mask it. Once I changed schools, however, I was a lot more reluctant to do that. Didn't matter. I still managed to be seen as some kind of complete spaz. I think the reason I liked middle school so much is because I was able to be weird and not have anyone bat an eye at me for it. It was just Candice being Candice.

Hee. Random memory from sixth grade: it was against the dress code to wear nail polish in colors that didn't correspond with our uniform colors (navy blue, forest green, white, or khaki). I used to paint my nails metallic blue, dark purple, and even orange with glitter just to irk my teachers. I was a regular little rebel, I was. [g]

NEW LOST TONIGHT. Somebody is gonna die. And far as I'm concerned, it's not one of the fourteen--yet. Dun dun dun.

Comments

[brittuhknee.livejournal.com]

for some reason this makes me think of you lol but i went through a lot of my old magazines and tore out random pages that i liked for whatever odd reason, and i was going to turn my walls into one huge collage.. i mean, with space and whatnot.. and different themes.. but yeah. but now i can't find any of the stuff i chose! *cries*

[confused11390.livejournal.com]

With that whole Middle School thing, being able to be yourself then. It's the reverse for me, weird. I wasn't my true self in middle school and now it's just me being me.

Odd.