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I need a distraction...
Oct. 11th, 2003 07:18 pmI desperately want something to do. I am definately going to read later and work on some essays and such, study for SATs, but, you know. I want a distraction.
This lady at my mom's job makes homecoming mums and garters. (anyone care to explain to me the reasoning behind them? I've lived in Texas three years and I STILL don't get it!) And Mom's like, "Do you want one?" And I kinda do. But I just wish I had a guy to give me one, even though I think they're incredibly cheesy. Hee.
And I'm still crushing on the boys. I want to ask one out. And it's pitiful that I'm weighing the pros and cons of persuing each one of them. And the cynical, burned part of me is going, Why bother--they'll both shoot you down. Why is it that those who have been rejected always expect rejection? Can't I just get over it? (when a guy I find attractive finds ME attractive, maybe.) I have this incredible complex. Gah.
I just want the normality thing. To be a senior who can wear cute clothes, not be viciously self-concious, with straight teeth, a boyfriend, and a car. You know? It's not wrong of me to actually want to be like the people I envy, is it? It's not wrong to want to be envied, is it?
Twenty days 'til homecoming. Three 'til the album.
This lady at my mom's job makes homecoming mums and garters. (anyone care to explain to me the reasoning behind them? I've lived in Texas three years and I STILL don't get it!) And Mom's like, "Do you want one?" And I kinda do. But I just wish I had a guy to give me one, even though I think they're incredibly cheesy. Hee.
And I'm still crushing on the boys. I want to ask one out. And it's pitiful that I'm weighing the pros and cons of persuing each one of them. And the cynical, burned part of me is going, Why bother--they'll both shoot you down. Why is it that those who have been rejected always expect rejection? Can't I just get over it? (when a guy I find attractive finds ME attractive, maybe.) I have this incredible complex. Gah.
I just want the normality thing. To be a senior who can wear cute clothes, not be viciously self-concious, with straight teeth, a boyfriend, and a car. You know? It's not wrong of me to actually want to be like the people I envy, is it? It's not wrong to want to be envied, is it?
Twenty days 'til homecoming. Three 'til the album.
