I need a distraction...

[enamoured]

I desperately want something to do. I am definately going to read later and work on some essays and such, study for SATs, but, you know. I want a distraction.

This lady at my mom's job makes homecoming mums and garters. (anyone care to explain to me the reasoning behind them? I've lived in Texas three years and I STILL don't get it!) And Mom's like, "Do you want one?" And I kinda do. But I just wish I had a guy to give me one, even though I think they're incredibly cheesy. Hee.

And I'm still crushing on the boys. I want to ask one out. And it's pitiful that I'm weighing the pros and cons of persuing each one of them. And the cynical, burned part of me is going, Why bother--they'll both shoot you down. Why is it that those who have been rejected always expect rejection? Can't I just get over it? (when a guy I find attractive finds ME attractive, maybe.) I have this incredible complex. Gah.

I just want the normality thing. To be a senior who can wear cute clothes, not be viciously self-concious, with straight teeth, a boyfriend, and a car. You know? It's not wrong of me to actually want to be like the people I envy, is it? It's not wrong to want to be envied, is it?

Twenty days 'til homecoming. Three 'til the album.

Comments

[waderapspoorly.livejournal.com]

I lived in Texas for five years, and every single homecoming I thought to myself, "What the hell is a mum?" I still have one of them on my wall. It's a great conversation starter.

I saw the Clay interview last night and thought of you!

[supersyncspaz7.livejournal.com]

I just don't get it, y'know? They don't do that in North Carolina! We have dances that are like second proms in some places... hee.

It's funny how people watch interviews of my favorite celebrities and tell me about it and how they thought of me. I think it's really amusing.

[waderapspoorly.livejournal.com]

The differences between Texas and Connecticut are quite numerous. For example, our homecoming dance in Texas was a wild party in the streets while here it was almost as formal as prom. And we really didn't have dances in Connecticut but it seemed like every single month we had a semi-formal in Texas.

And another thing I never got was all of the local colloquialisms when I lived in Texas. I was constantly saying, "And could you repeat that sentence in English please?" I felt like I needed a Texas dictionary sometimes.

[elation.livejournal.com]

Mums annoyed me in high school, haha. Because people put cow bells on them and it was aggravating trying to do work in school. They're still pretty cool, though.

[mzspearz.livejournal.com]

I just want the normality thing. To be a senior who can wear cute clothes, not be viciously self-concious, with straight teeth, a boyfriend, and a car. You know? It's not wrong of me to actually want to be like the people I envy, is it? It's not wrong to want to be envied, is it?

You just described what's going through every Senior's head in high school.