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enamouredDo you know what's the most bittersweet moment in the world? When you're having this magnificant dream when you're by this gorgeous guy and you shyly admit to him that you've never been kissed, and he says, "Want me to kiss you, then?" and you oblige, and it's the best sensation in the world and it feels so real and you're walking on air, and you write about it in your journal and you're saying to yourself, "FINALLY! Freakin' FINALLY!"... then the guy comes back and tells you he doesn't like you. Then you wake up happy, then you realize, whoops, the guy who gave you your first kiss just broke your heart.
Dude, I can't even keep a guy in my dreams. What is up with me?
I'm okay now, except that my nose is sore from rubbing and I'm still coughing horribly. And I'm feeling kinda... melancholy-ish. Maybe it was the dream, and it's how I imagine things will go in the romantic arena of my life for, like, ever. Maybe it's because I'm still thinking about oh, several people I care way too much about and they could possibly care less about me, and I wonder why I bothered loving them. You know? It's so twisted. Adults tell you it's okay to love people and go that extra mile, right, but it's like when you do, people don't want you to. Or you get told you're too caring. It sucks. It hurts. I wish I didn't do it sometimes.
On a less depressing note, I also dreamt last night that I got transferred to another school in my area. My dad transferred my brother and I, and I hated it. I don't know what was up with me last night. My dreams were so absolutely random, moreso than they usually are. Maybe it was because of the fact that I'm still all fluidey. (ick.) Oh, I don't know. My subconcious enjoys mocking me. Kind of like everything in my life. Ha ha.
And I really want to go somewhere, but my mom says I'm not well enough yet. Sucks.
Dude, I can't even keep a guy in my dreams. What is up with me?
I'm okay now, except that my nose is sore from rubbing and I'm still coughing horribly. And I'm feeling kinda... melancholy-ish. Maybe it was the dream, and it's how I imagine things will go in the romantic arena of my life for, like, ever. Maybe it's because I'm still thinking about oh, several people I care way too much about and they could possibly care less about me, and I wonder why I bothered loving them. You know? It's so twisted. Adults tell you it's okay to love people and go that extra mile, right, but it's like when you do, people don't want you to. Or you get told you're too caring. It sucks. It hurts. I wish I didn't do it sometimes.
On a less depressing note, I also dreamt last night that I got transferred to another school in my area. My dad transferred my brother and I, and I hated it. I don't know what was up with me last night. My dreams were so absolutely random, moreso than they usually are. Maybe it was because of the fact that I'm still all fluidey. (ick.) Oh, I don't know. My subconcious enjoys mocking me. Kind of like everything in my life. Ha ha.
And I really want to go somewhere, but my mom says I'm not well enough yet. Sucks.
