they read all the books, but they can't find the answers.

[enamoured]

It's weird how things go with people in school.

Take, for example, this. In January, Josh was going out with Sara B., and Alyssa totally disliked Sara, because she'd been friends with Josh and it seemed like Sara was resentful of their friendship. Then about a month ago, I was in the office and Sara came in and she and Alyssa were talking to each other, and I was thinking, But... Alyssa hates Sara! And now... Alyssa and Josh are going out, and Alyssa is all civil towards Sara.

Josh was leaving early today, and he came by the journalism room to say goodbye to Alyssa. And it was achingly cute. They were just standing at the other end of the room and hugging each other and talking quietly, and it was just so sweet. Rachel--who needs pictures of couples for her couples spread in the yearbook--wanted me to take a picture, and as much as I am masochistic and like taking pictures of happy couples, the moment seemed WAYY too intimate for me to snap photos of. Josh seems like Prime Boyfriend Material, because he is just so gentle and sweet towards whoever his affections are on at the time. Like, when he and Sara B. were going out, I saw them talking at practice for the musical, and it was like, movie-scene sweet.

Sometimes I feel kind of bad about specifically naming names in this thing. I used to refer to people I had strong feelings for with absurd nicknames when I started this journal (if you ever go back to my September 2001 entries, you'll understand, with my mentions of Broadway and CK), but that was because I was horribly paranoid that someone would find it and I'd get busted. I still worry about that, but the truth of the matter is that most people at my school who have LiveJournals have NOTHING in common with me and don't know that I have one, or they have Xangas, and I have one of those and I only post highly sanitized things in it. I don't name names there. I don't know why I have almost gotten over my paranoia of this journal being found--maybe it's because really, no one notices me so I have no worries about people reading it and going "OMG Candice is such a FUR-REAK!" Had I had an online journal in middle school when I was in that small private school, and if people had also had theirs, I think I would've been more paranoid.

That makes NO sense, I know, but I digress.

With the name-thing, it reminds me of what happened in English. We had this "senior journal" assignment that I mentioned a few weeks ago. The teacher made us read one entry aloud. I read my first one, in which I wrote about when and how I started keeping real journals of my own. She asked me how many I'd kept, and I said eighteen since I was nine. Then everyone asked how I got that much time to write, and the teacher asks if I have a job. I respond I've been looking for one for a while, and everyone else was like, "Oh, so THAT'S how you do it!" Then the teacher suggests that I try and get my stuff published.

Oh, right. I've thought about it before. Seriously. Maybe I should, but there's just SO MUCH stuff to edit, so many names to change... don't you have to have the consent of people you've written about to get such a work published? I know it'd out me as the true geek I am, but dammit, I so still want to do it someday.

Comments

[brittuhknee.livejournal.com]

I do that, too. Name names. I didn't with "The Boy" if you didn't notice, but that's because he and some of his friends read my journal. And HE knew who it was, but I wasn't sure I wanted all his friends, plus the possibility of people coming up on my journal knowing all that. It was too personal. But the rest, I name names and sometimes I do wonder if maybe I shouldn't be, but. Eh. Oh well, lol.