enamoured | this is just how it all begins...

Well, seeing as I have a little more than two hours 'til my next class, I need to be preoccupied. So I am attempting to do so.

I have a case of wanting to go ahead and try things just to get them over with. I don't like sidestepping certain things, and it just irks my nerves when I have to not do things. This is especially the case when it comes to driving. So I was wanting to drive to school today, and my mom wanted to drive me. But oh, I had to be all obnoxious and grown-up and drive. So Mom let me follow her. Oh. My. God. I nearly rammed into the back of the car a few times on the highway. I succeeded in scaring the living crap out of myself and now I want to avoid the highway in the morning at all costs, if not completely bypassing highway driving anyway. I wanted to go back home and cry, then watch cartoons and eat cereal because I'm apparently six.

I'm okay now, I just got freaked out too easily for my own good. Except that none of this feels real. I haven't been "new" at something in four years, and before that, I was "new" twice, and before that, I wasn't "new" for seven. So I feel very off-kilter and I do not like it in the least. I still want to go home and watch cartoons, though. That much remains the same. And I am seriously eating lunch with my mom, because I need some mommy comfort.

I'm a loser. But I relish in my loserishness.

Oh, yes. Today is D-Day. As in DSL DAY. It finally gets turned on in our house! EEEEEEEEE!