(no subject)
Jan. 10th, 2006 01:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
enamouredOriginally seen (by me, at least) at ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
metaquotes.
The Person of Color's Guide To Surviving A Horror/Sci-Fi Film
1. Do not, under any circumstances, star in any horror/sci-fi movie with Aaaarnold. You will most certainly die a violent death involving the loss of a major body part. Ask Carl Weathers.
2. If you're a teen/college student, stay away from summer camps altogether. Showing up to one is basically putting a bull's eye on your ass for any pyscho in a hockey mask/hood/etc. They will kill you in some humiliating way while your fellow camp counselors run their white asses to safety.
3. Never take a job in some desolate place like Nuttchill, Alaska, where you're the only P.O.C.
4. Always carry a spare clip for your gun. Otherwise, you will most definitely run out of bullets just as the killer/monster/etc. decides it wants dark meat instead of white.
5. If you and your girlfriend/boyfriend are going to have sex, wait until you're indoors and behind a sturdy lock. Opting to use a tent or car backseat will only insure that the nutt you bust will be your last.
6. The minute someone informs you that the house where you'll be staying was built above a burial ground, grab your shit and leave. Forget you friends, who obviously haven't watched enough horror films to know what's coming next.
7. Do NOT screw around with Quija Boards for any reason. If you're not the first one to get possessed, the possessed person(s) will make it a point to enact their own form of affirmative action by killing you before everyone else.
8. Don't explain EVERYTHING to the police, especially if it involves the paranormal. Just let them know how many people are dead, where to find the bodies, and get out immediately.
9. Do not accept anything from the dead. It's always a bad idea.
10. Do not go into deep space with Sigourney Weaver even if she begs you. No matter how many precaustions you take, you're as good as dead the instant the ship takes off.
11. If you're in any horror/sci-fi film with Charles S. Dutton, make it a point to keep away from him at all times. Dutton has yet to survive one of these movies and neither will you if you stand too close to his ass.
[dies and is dead] [except not really]
metaquotes.The Person of Color's Guide To Surviving A Horror/Sci-Fi Film
1. Do not, under any circumstances, star in any horror/sci-fi movie with Aaaarnold. You will most certainly die a violent death involving the loss of a major body part. Ask Carl Weathers.
2. If you're a teen/college student, stay away from summer camps altogether. Showing up to one is basically putting a bull's eye on your ass for any pyscho in a hockey mask/hood/etc. They will kill you in some humiliating way while your fellow camp counselors run their white asses to safety.
3. Never take a job in some desolate place like Nuttchill, Alaska, where you're the only P.O.C.
4. Always carry a spare clip for your gun. Otherwise, you will most definitely run out of bullets just as the killer/monster/etc. decides it wants dark meat instead of white.
5. If you and your girlfriend/boyfriend are going to have sex, wait until you're indoors and behind a sturdy lock. Opting to use a tent or car backseat will only insure that the nutt you bust will be your last.
6. The minute someone informs you that the house where you'll be staying was built above a burial ground, grab your shit and leave. Forget you friends, who obviously haven't watched enough horror films to know what's coming next.
7. Do NOT screw around with Quija Boards for any reason. If you're not the first one to get possessed, the possessed person(s) will make it a point to enact their own form of affirmative action by killing you before everyone else.
8. Don't explain EVERYTHING to the police, especially if it involves the paranormal. Just let them know how many people are dead, where to find the bodies, and get out immediately.
9. Do not accept anything from the dead. It's always a bad idea.
10. Do not go into deep space with Sigourney Weaver even if she begs you. No matter how many precaustions you take, you're as good as dead the instant the ship takes off.
11. If you're in any horror/sci-fi film with Charles S. Dutton, make it a point to keep away from him at all times. Dutton has yet to survive one of these movies and neither will you if you stand too close to his ass.
[dies and is dead] [except not really]
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-01-10 11:11 pm (UTC)Oh, by the way, you totally got Joey. n_n
no subject
Date: 2006-01-10 11:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-10 11:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-10 11:24 pm (UTC)